Relationship and longevity:

To sustain a relationship particularly marriage, you have to be prepared to give beyond your all. It is not plain-sailing for two different people to commit to one another and prepare to live the rest of their lives together without challenges. You are both different entities; it is unbelievable. Without the constant presence and complete domination of the author of life and marriage, you are both dumped.

Believe me or not, from the outset of your marriage there are external forces preparing to contend with your union whether you like it or not. When you give the adversary an inch in your marriage they will gladly take a mile.

Relationship is like an investment institution where both parties are expected to give their all regardless of the freckles or any forms of leakages. It is however wise to prevent leakages in a marriage; leakages attract venoms. When venom penetrates a marriage it wreaks havoc on a marriage. It’s poison sends a marriage into an intensive care and in most cases placed on a life support machine until the union eventually dies when both parties fail to invite the Almighty God into the institution.

If your upbringing has been a sham, compounded with systematic trauma and drama into adulthood; which may have sadly broken your self-esteem, confidence and sense of belonging - you better seek help before you step into the matrimonial journey.

If care is not taking the saga of your childhood experiences could easily have a detrimental impact on your martial journey and your children, if you are blessed with any.

Sadly in some cases, people (who may have been traumatised in childhood) reflect their upbringing in their marriage. If care is not taking it can become a saga of a visual circle - where everyone becomes a victim from one generation to the next.

Below are my humble thoughts on how to sustain a marriage:

Expect the unexpected: you are both different persons.
If your major aim in the marriage is to change the other person you're definitely in for a bumpy ride.
If your relationship is too formal, it removes the element of friendship.
Communication - if when you open your mouth, you constantly hurt the other person or each other, it is a sign of a deep opposition leading into hatred. You simply cannot set out to hurt the person you claim to love.
I am not suggesting that moments where you are likely to fall out would not occur - you are after all human and the unplanned often happens. In such moments, love, respect, and understanding should conquer.
Take interest in each other’s interest! If you do not invest some level of interest in each other’s interest, moments of laughter and fun will be very limited in your relationship.
Set time aside to be in each other’s company outside of sex. Your coming together should not be all about sex.
Compatibility and satisfaction when it comes to sex most form part of your discussion and relationship. Help each other along; do not put the other person down or indicate he or she is inadequate in that regard. If you do so you are likely to break the spirit and confidence of the other person which may push him or her to the elements.
Comparing your other half with your ex or other couples can be very demoralising.
Making derogatory comments about your other half’s background, financial status, employment status, intellectual capability, and sexual capability has the potential to kill off the marriage.
Direction in a relationship is very crucial. Who is in the driving seat, who is doing what and why should form part of your relationship.
Constantly apportioning blame in a marriage and where the other half never accepts faults could very easily create a vacuum in the relationship.
A situation where one is afraid to speak the truth will promote deception and impunity.
Where it is all about you! You! And you! In time, you will lose the other person often into the hands of someone else who will give him or her more attention.
Treat each other like an egg that needs to be treasured. Remember, when an egg is accidentally or intentionally broken it can never be put together again!
Unrealistic expectations can damage every fabric of your marriage.
Marriage counselling is important right from the outset. A lot should be honestly revealed and discussed before you both press ahead. Where genuine consensus cannot be reached, it is better to part company at that stage.
Traumatic childhood experiences can very easily interfere and affect a marriage if due care is not taken.
As you grow old in your marriage, you manage to grow stronger with innovation.
Trust me, there are onlookers who do not want your marriage to succeed; do not give them cause to celebrate.
You must always remember that it is very easy to destroy a home but then painstaking and prolonged to rebuild.
Pay attention to details in your relationship and home that will prevent the locust from penetrating your God-endorsed marital institution.
Take pride in each other’s appearance and constantly compliment the other person.
Please do not run your partner down. You’re not to be ashamed of your partner; instead admonish him or her.


Genesis 2:24:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”.

Ephesians 5:25:
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church. He gave up his life for her."

Ecclesiastes 4:12:
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Colossians 3:14:

“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Ecclesiastes 4:9:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?"

I pray that God’s words permeate through your marriage;
I pray that God‘s hands of reconciliation will be demonstrated clearly and seen in your marriage.

Finally on this segment;
Temptation of all kinds are likely to surface and/or penetrate your marriage whether you welcome them or not. But you (both) have to stand firm using the words of God during moments of temptations.

Just like Jesus uttered the word of God to defeat the adversary when HE was led up by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil - you can surely do likewise.

When situation erupts or tends to erupt in your marriage, use the following words of Christ:

”It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mount of God”.
“It is written again, You shall not tempt the Lord your God”.
“Away with you, Satan! For it is written, You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve”.


When you utter such words constantly at different occasions as situations demand, Satan would not have a foothold in your marriage. He doesn’t like the light and the word of God so he will have no choice but to flee from your territory.

Be reflective and stay blessed!!!

Israel Ayodele E. A. Lazarus Oshunremi

Categoria:

Família e casa