To Parents and/or guardians:

Truth is bitter; but once it is embraced, courageously, it will set you free.

I come across several parents, step parents, custodians, guardians, and teachers who (in my humble opinion) fail the children in their lives daily. Honestly, whether directly or indirectly. I am not an exception.

Sadly I have also witnessed and experienced the devastation that absent parents wreak in the lives of their charges. I certainly understand that some things are beyond the control of otherwise loving parents but I am increasingly frustrated at passive or irresponsible parents for their inability to appreciate the damage they cause.

It’s never too late to start repairing a fractured relationship but in such situations, I recommend the following, honest but not so easy principles:

Admit your failings to your child/ward;
Do not attempt to justify your failures or explain the situation away but take responsibility for your errors;
Lead by example - this may be painful and demeaning but in the long term beneficial;
Be aware that the process of reconciliation can be long and painful; do not expect results overnight;
Try to give each other space to process things and ask questions for clarification when necessary;
For genuine healing, all parties must express the hurt felt, the pains experienced, and the disappointments suffered, no matter how long ago;
You must approach the situation with the aim to reach a peaceful and reconciliatory agreement.


If you are that parent or care giver, God wants to free you from the pains of the past. (Refrain from manipulating the situation by using culture and/or tradition to silence the children). All He requires of you is the decision to act immediately and the first step is to present the situation to Him in prayer. Like the biblical Nehemiah; you can rebuild the broken- down walls of your child’s life and restore the trust in your relationship (read the book of Nehemiah).

If you have (somehow) failed in your duties as a parent in the past but wish to respond to this call and make amends, God’s power is more than able to bring lasting healing and reconciliation.

Perhaps you were failed and hurt by your own parents or guardians too, the Great Healer wants to remove your scars. Enlist His help as you assume your parental responsibility today. Speak words of blessing into your children’s lives and trust to see them come to fruition.

You must always remember there are forces contending against the restoration of your relationship with your children and family. They take delight in seeing a chaotic situation sustained for generations. You have to be courageous enough and rise up against the reign of the adversary.

With Faith and God on your side, a dysfunctional vicious circle in your family linage is bound to come to an abrupt end.

I will seek to address children caught up in this saga separately in the next write up.

Since Santa was thrown out of heaven to wonder the planet - he became a fugitive and vagabond tormenting homes and families. Santa managed to introduce into families - division, antagonism, deception, poverty, sickness, infidelity, bitterness, Unforgiveness, domestic violence, impunity, vulnerabilities, misplace priorities, Love of self, psychological trauma, Love of money, rationalities, and dysfunction. This sadly has been the epidemic that has affected so many children from one generation to the next.

It is for this reason we do not have a perfect family here on Earth, but God’s grace is much more than sufficient. We need to rewrite the wrongs.

Once again I claim no perfection! God have mercy on us!

Israel Ayodele E. A. Lazarus Oshunremi

Category:
Family & Home 
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