2023: EVERYONE WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT. -Dapo Douglas-Momodu

2023: EVERYONE WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT. -Dapo Douglas-Momodu



#Ìròyìn Òmìnira
24th February, 2022


"You shape your future every day through the choices you make. That's sort of a hard one to swallow, isn't it? It would be much easier to say you are a victim of circumstances. Then you don't have to act. Your choices create your reality."
-Jason Harvey

Inescapably, Nigeria and Nigerians embrace an obligatory kaleidoscopic leadership transposition by May 29, 2023. A legal, common and expected variation in our political and constitutional existence as at today.

Expectedly in politics, everybody is ambitious by right. The decisions for which office to aspire to, when and how is by far a critical science endeavour that sometimes buries the rocket technology, human's inquisitions into the possibilities of life in planet Mass and the development of the nuclear and atomic war powers combined. The political class can relate with this. Only the tyros, gasbags and the verbose out of naivety jump the process to their hurts.


History is replete with how countless servants ruled over their masters' masters as a result of moving when the time is ripe for the birthing of its pregnancy as the customary and natural cliché of politics states: ""24 hours is too much of a time in politics"".

My last political opinion article was over a year ago and in the one I wrote about the ""Ankara politics"" during the Edo State governorship election where the gladiators for and against one another tried overtly and covertly to annihilate themselves with the deployment of all forms of sordidly redefined illegal machineries of bribery corrupted further the hapless, poverty-stricken and hopeless electorates with all forms of petty shenanigans and "Greek Gifts" to aquire the soul of the South South oil producing State. The shenanigans of the time proved indeed a mere dress rehearsal to what we have always and we are currently up in arms against.


The time since then has chronicled lots of antithetical politically awe-inspiring events that ""writing an opinion"" only depicts what a needle in a haystack portends. But even the word insanity wouldn't be penned or pronounced without sanity being seen or heard.

From the kidnapping, in an alcapon-like manner of Nnamdi Kanu, the IPOB's warlord; the ghastly terroristic cold-blooded raid of Sunday Igboho, the Yoruba Nation activist's abode; the unabating successful abduction for ransom by ""bandits"" (heard they've been opaquely designated as ""terrorists"" recently) with virtually not anyone of those being ever apprehended, even ""Evans the Kidnapping kingpin"" is still docked and changing his confessional statements on different court days; the Kyari-Hushpuppi's imbroglio came, still lingers and seems like virtually ready to conquer the unexpected as threatened by the chief accused collaborator of the online scam and fraudulent criminal chains of gangster - a celebrated cop already calibrated into ignominy, whichever way the case goes, Nigerians have since been proven right that "the police is never your friend"; then came the Obi Cubana from the blues. The nebulous "business tycoon", prodigy a la controversial spendthrift vagabond who changed the game of maternal burial ceremonies with hundreds of millions of naira wads and ruminant beasts for his celebration to the chagrin albeit profiting of the MACBAN, the outcome of his ""invitation and arrest"" by the EFCC for money laundering remains a classified information that only the top dogs at the anti-corruption agency are, can or will only be privileged to, for now the rest is history; not too long ago there was a rumoured royal rumble in the palace of the Iku Bàbá Yèyé of Oduduwa Land featuring the first class monarch, the Queen (ex-Queen? Not sure if such word should exist. Ex and Queen are undoubtedly a dangerous and pernicious combinations) and perhaps, the king's sisters on the other hand and fortunately, rumour mills also suggested that tranquility has since returned to the royal castles in Ile-Ife and it's a no victors no vanquished declarations; the Dowen College Sylvester Oromoni's murder by bullies recently justified, exonerated and pronounced ""innocent"" in a classic case of legal frolicsomeness also occurred in the airspace during this writer's hiatus; what with the seasons of turbanings rocking the North by Southern politicians? It's a scenario of ""he without a turban please step aside"".


Our politicians mastered the noxious acts of purchasing anything and everything long ago and they're not about to relent today or in the near future if anything it's a handy political tool for them till God knows when; who would forget the Yusuf Buhari's Kasarawa kingdom gifts in a hurry? For the purpose of halting his straying pastime, our president's son was crowned the head of that noble but hitherto obscure and unperceived territory or hamlet.


Finally, the cockamamie FFK's incogitable tergiversation of the PDP to the Nigeria's ruining party; my Uncle Festus Adedayo's fulminant and ruffling article on why a certain mercantilist and hyped-up politician from the South West shouldn't be elected as Nigeria's next president; the current sesame and abracadabra on adulterated shipped fuel from Belgium and other God knows where destinations with the exasperating and puzzling divulgence of earmarking a humongous 201 billion naira to emend and recalibrate some thousands of litters of petroleum oil by the lamebrained officer in charge of the government agency; still on Abba Kyari the infamous DCP of police who stares the devil of the FBI and the Red Sea of Kiri Kiri maximum prison in the face due to his you know what of recent and the most vivacious hot potato of who becomes the next president of Nigeria in barely a year from now.

Only the dead survives the razzmatazz in Nigeria on a daily basis. The distractions are grand and of grandeur level.


I unwittingly chose to treatise on the latter for its didactic nature, troubling features, discomforting concomitant prevenience and irritating directions which consummates for the umpteen and the infinity that Nigerians are never learning albeit the most calamitous ignoramuses on the planet.


Of course, several elitist paper quality folks takes pride in this on the grounds of forming a stonewalls, panoplies and garrisons for their preferred candidates for 2023.


In the mid and late 80s, the faddish and celebrated actor Tajudeen Oyewole, popularly known as ""Abija Wara"" personated the role of a hero turned a wieldy and paramount villainous wangateur in the Yoruba epic drama series ""Àrélù"" after the loss of his only son if I may recall. Äbìjà was a highly diabolical enfant terrible. Feared by all and dared by none. A potent sorcerer akin to a zenith before being cutdown.

At the time the king and the Council concluded that the excruciating and unendurable atrocious plenitude of the warlock must be curtailed. The first resort was to convey the palace's disgruntlement and exasperation directly and orally through the village's gofers, three of those were assigned the task of the impending threats of ostracism, exile or possible capital sanctions against the mighty Äbìjà if he doesn't desist from his vile savagery and barbarity against the people of the land. How dare the king and his chiefs!


Typical of Äbìjà, he disappointed. He hypnotized the disrespectful errand boys with his hex and enchantments. He caused them to repeat over and over over albeit maleficently all the way to the royal residence these words: ""Àwä tí wón ránwá, ã mà tï è gö ö; àtöbä, àtìjòyè tó rán wã wá, wón mà tï è gö ö hahahahahahahaha"" (an unusually long impulsively unprompted hilarity follows their recitals) - ""We, the ill-advised messengers, are so imbecilic; so also are the king and the chiefs who commissioned us for this message: they're all foolish indeed too"".


This they did till they returned to the waiting and unsettled anticipatory lords in the palace. Who, of course, weren't surprised. This writer was barely seven or eight years old at the time Àrélù trended and rocked the South Western airways mainly but the dramatic acts of the ill-fated schleppers made lots of laughs for us in school the day after that particular week's episode.


The above allegory best sketch, depicts and synopsizes the various misadventurists postulating as ""presidential aspirants"" in the upcoming 2023 elections. Sordidly and saddening they're running roughshod over our de novo sensibilities this time devoid of the usual tirades of the last six decades. These crops of political actors have nothing to offer and aren't interested in robust manifestos neither are they willing to advocate for votes based on whatever plans they have for Nigeria IF or When elected. Our people have become helpless in asking questions. Everyone is on the prowl stalking whatever prey the 'polithiefcians' decide to toss at them like the biblical last supper before the crucifixion.

YES!!! The crucifixion of the Nigerian citizens is quadrennial. That has been the congenital basis of our democracy. Free plantain chips, kegs of petroleum products, chickens, the all-in-one garri-sugar-groundnuts packs, ankara, gauntly and emaciated 500 naira notes, rice, beans and countless petty ""Greek gifts"" are currently flying around to dissuade the reasoning of the voting public. How I wish our people are wise just this once then we could because we should as a matter of fact telling the emissaries and sycophants of the visionless Nigerian polithiefcians that we've played the fools for far too long and that now is their time to be the foolish.


A short shot at the list that includes the ex-convict and potential jailbird that is when the State reopens his case, called Orji Kalu, the belligerent and statue-loving Rochas Okorocha, the "corrupt politician" Atiku Abubakar so christened by ex-president Obasanjo, then the controversial behemoth and egghead Jagaban of Borgu Kingdom, Ashiwaju Bola Tinubu who undoubtedly is the main contender, the "Rt. Hon." Rotimi Amechi and the dynamic Pastor Professor Yemi Osinbajo etc should send startles and jarrings down our vertebrae column for lack of sustentation and redemption hopes at least for now. The thought of having nothing new, good or normal to expect from the buccaneers angling to outdo one another to get the nation's top superintendent job caused the nationalism in this writer to worry and the time is indeed pregnant.


© Dapo Douglas-Momodu is a public affairs expert and the co-founder of dynamic nationalists group.

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